Fresno Bible Church’s Divorce and Remarriage Policy
We believe that marriage was instituted by God and divinely designed to be a sacred and permanent union between one man and one woman throughout their lifetime. Divorce and remarriage was not in the original plan of God (Genesis 2:18-25 – Verse 24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined [bonded for a lifetime] to his wife; and they shall become one flesh”; c.f., Matthew 19:4-8).
We believe that since there is nothing impossible with God (Luke 1:37), there is no marital problem that is too great for God to solve. When both persons in the marriage relationship fully cooperate with God, no issue needs to go unresolved, and no marriage needs to end in divorce.
We believe that it is the church’s responsibility to do whatever we can to keep marriages from ending and to help couples in trouble to experience marital health and holiness. However, unrepentant sin separates, and divorce still occurs, often between two Christians, often against the desire of one of the marriage partners, often despite church intervention, and always where biblical principles are unknown, ignored, or willfully violated.
We believe that even though God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), in that He hates what causes divorce and He hates some of the results of divorce, that it is a biblical concept and that He permits it in certain situations because of sin. The Lord said, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way” (Matthew 19:8). Sin in one or in both persons in the relationship is always the cause of divorce.
We believe that divorce and remarriage is permissible by God and His Church for three biblical reasons. Christians have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage only under the following circumstances:
(1. Before Salvation: When the marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation.
2 Corinthians 5:17 reads, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” We believe that now as a Christian, as a new creation in Christ, the old things of the unsaved condition have passed away, while at the same time the new things of Christ have come. The old life, with all its sins, including unbiblical divorce, has been removed, covered by the blood of Christ. We do not expect that an unbeliever could know or care about the will of God regarding the choice of a lifelong marriage partner.
We believe that when the marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation, God grants His “new creation” the freedom to enter in to a Christian marriage.
(2. Unrepentant Immorality: When one in the marriage is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully in the marriage union.
Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
We believe that that verse should be accepted at face value. So, a Christian who divorces his or her unfaithful spouse because of unrepentant sexual immorality, that faithful person does not commit adultery in remarriage. I.e., the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry.
“Immorality” (or “fornication,” porneia in the Greek) refers to sexual sin of any kind, including, but not limited to, adultery.
We believe that the Lord allows the option of divorce and remarriage for the innocent spouse when his or her partner is guilty of immoral sexual sin and is unwilling to repent and remain faithful to the marriage relationship, but only after all attempts of reconciliation have failed.
But we also understand that it is sometimes difficult to determine the innocence of the spouse who was not involved in sexual sin. We believe that the eldership must provide objectivity and wisdom in determining whether the so-called “innocent” party is indeed free of guilt and thereby biblically qualified for remarriage.
(3. Permanent Desertion: When one in the marriage willfully and permanently deserts the other.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” “Let him leave” is a command. This is the one instance where divorce is required.
Paul is addressing the common problem of mixed marriages, when one partner is a Christian and the other is not. In such situations, if the unbeliever is willing to remain in the marriage, the believer is forbidden to seek a divorce. But if the unbeliever desires and pursues a divorce with no interest to return, the believer is commanded to grant it for the sake of peace.
We believe that in such cases the believer is “not under bondage,” in that he or she is free then to remarry, but only in Christ. That “not under bondage” means to be free to remarry, is made clear by Paul’s instruction to a wife in 1 Corinthians 7:39: “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (emphasis added). To no longer be bound means to be free of the responsibility of the marriage. The desertion of the unbeliever removes all marital obligations, thus freeing the believer to remarry, “only in the Lord.”
We believe that 1 Corinthians 7:15 may also apply to an unrepentant professing believer. If the deserting party professes to be a Christian, the church must pursue the so-called brother or sister through the principles of discipline given in Matthew 18:15-18: “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector [i.e., as an unbeliever]. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.”
A professing believer who refuses to submit to church discipline through repentance, and persists in this refusal, is to be regarded as an unbeliever. Therefore, we believe that the Christian spouse of such a person must let him or her leave, and that the Christian is free to remarry in the Lord.
We believe that the biblically divorced person who desires remarriage must move cautiously into that consideration, being careful to seek the counsel and blessing of the eldership, which may advise against remarriage for the following reasons:
(1. When the eldership perceives that remarriage would end all hope of reconciliation with the divorced spouse.
(2. When there are issues in the Christian’s life that the eldership perceives may render him or her unsuitable for marriage at the present time.
(3. When there is a desire to marry a person whom the eldership perceives may be biblically unqualified for remarriage.
(4. When there is a desire to marry a person whom the eldership perceives may not be presently fit for marriage because of issues in his or her life.
We believe that divorce for any other cause than the before mentioned reasons is not permitted by Scripture. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, reiterates the Lord’s command for believers to remain married: “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” (For the Lord’s clear command of believers not to divorce, see Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18.) This is a clear command for a Christian not to divorce his or her Christian spouse, but to do everything possible to preserve the marriage.
We believe that if a Christian divorces his or her spouse without biblical grounds that that is an unbiblical divorce and therefore an act of sin. That person is commanded to not sin further by remarrying someone other than his or her spouse. Again, verse 11a reads, “But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried [i.e., not marry another], or else [repent and] be reconciled to her husband.”
We believe that divorce was a divine concession because of sin. And we agree with Charles Swindoll: “No Christians should aggressively seek the dissolution of his or her marriage bond. Some of the very best things God teaches His children are learned while working through marital difficulties. Endless stories could be told of how God honored the perseverance of abused and ignored partners as they refused to give up.
But “where God permits divorce and remarriage, humbly let us accept it without fear or guilt. Let us not call ‘unclean’ what He now calls clean. But neither let us put words in His mouth and make Him say what He, in fact, has not said. No matter how miserable we may be. There is something much worse than living with a mate in disharmony. It’s living with God in disobedience.” (Charles R. Swindoll, Strike the Original Match [Portland, Oregon: Multnomah Press, 1980], pp. 147-149.)
We believe that marriage was instituted by God and divinely designed to be a sacred and permanent union between one man and one woman throughout their lifetime. Divorce and remarriage was not in the original plan of God (Genesis 2:18-25 – Verse 24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined [bonded for a lifetime] to his wife; and they shall become one flesh”; c.f., Matthew 19:4-8).
We believe that since there is nothing impossible with God (Luke 1:37), there is no marital problem that is too great for God to solve. When both persons in the marriage relationship fully cooperate with God, no issue needs to go unresolved, and no marriage needs to end in divorce.
We believe that it is the church’s responsibility to do whatever we can to keep marriages from ending and to help couples in trouble to experience marital health and holiness. However, unrepentant sin separates, and divorce still occurs, often between two Christians, often against the desire of one of the marriage partners, often despite church intervention, and always where biblical principles are unknown, ignored, or willfully violated.
We believe that even though God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), in that He hates what causes divorce and He hates some of the results of divorce, that it is a biblical concept and that He permits it in certain situations because of sin. The Lord said, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way” (Matthew 19:8). Sin in one or in both persons in the relationship is always the cause of divorce.
We believe that divorce and remarriage is permissible by God and His Church for three biblical reasons. Christians have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage only under the following circumstances:
(1. Before Salvation: When the marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation.
2 Corinthians 5:17 reads, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” We believe that now as a Christian, as a new creation in Christ, the old things of the unsaved condition have passed away, while at the same time the new things of Christ have come. The old life, with all its sins, including unbiblical divorce, has been removed, covered by the blood of Christ. We do not expect that an unbeliever could know or care about the will of God regarding the choice of a lifelong marriage partner.
We believe that when the marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation, God grants His “new creation” the freedom to enter in to a Christian marriage.
(2. Unrepentant Immorality: When one in the marriage is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully in the marriage union.
Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
We believe that that verse should be accepted at face value. So, a Christian who divorces his or her unfaithful spouse because of unrepentant sexual immorality, that faithful person does not commit adultery in remarriage. I.e., the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry.
“Immorality” (or “fornication,” porneia in the Greek) refers to sexual sin of any kind, including, but not limited to, adultery.
We believe that the Lord allows the option of divorce and remarriage for the innocent spouse when his or her partner is guilty of immoral sexual sin and is unwilling to repent and remain faithful to the marriage relationship, but only after all attempts of reconciliation have failed.
But we also understand that it is sometimes difficult to determine the innocence of the spouse who was not involved in sexual sin. We believe that the eldership must provide objectivity and wisdom in determining whether the so-called “innocent” party is indeed free of guilt and thereby biblically qualified for remarriage.
(3. Permanent Desertion: When one in the marriage willfully and permanently deserts the other.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” “Let him leave” is a command. This is the one instance where divorce is required.
Paul is addressing the common problem of mixed marriages, when one partner is a Christian and the other is not. In such situations, if the unbeliever is willing to remain in the marriage, the believer is forbidden to seek a divorce. But if the unbeliever desires and pursues a divorce with no interest to return, the believer is commanded to grant it for the sake of peace.
We believe that in such cases the believer is “not under bondage,” in that he or she is free then to remarry, but only in Christ. That “not under bondage” means to be free to remarry, is made clear by Paul’s instruction to a wife in 1 Corinthians 7:39: “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (emphasis added). To no longer be bound means to be free of the responsibility of the marriage. The desertion of the unbeliever removes all marital obligations, thus freeing the believer to remarry, “only in the Lord.”
We believe that 1 Corinthians 7:15 may also apply to an unrepentant professing believer. If the deserting party professes to be a Christian, the church must pursue the so-called brother or sister through the principles of discipline given in Matthew 18:15-18: “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector [i.e., as an unbeliever]. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.”
A professing believer who refuses to submit to church discipline through repentance, and persists in this refusal, is to be regarded as an unbeliever. Therefore, we believe that the Christian spouse of such a person must let him or her leave, and that the Christian is free to remarry in the Lord.
We believe that the biblically divorced person who desires remarriage must move cautiously into that consideration, being careful to seek the counsel and blessing of the eldership, which may advise against remarriage for the following reasons:
(1. When the eldership perceives that remarriage would end all hope of reconciliation with the divorced spouse.
(2. When there are issues in the Christian’s life that the eldership perceives may render him or her unsuitable for marriage at the present time.
(3. When there is a desire to marry a person whom the eldership perceives may be biblically unqualified for remarriage.
(4. When there is a desire to marry a person whom the eldership perceives may not be presently fit for marriage because of issues in his or her life.
We believe that divorce for any other cause than the before mentioned reasons is not permitted by Scripture. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, reiterates the Lord’s command for believers to remain married: “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” (For the Lord’s clear command of believers not to divorce, see Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18.) This is a clear command for a Christian not to divorce his or her Christian spouse, but to do everything possible to preserve the marriage.
We believe that if a Christian divorces his or her spouse without biblical grounds that that is an unbiblical divorce and therefore an act of sin. That person is commanded to not sin further by remarrying someone other than his or her spouse. Again, verse 11a reads, “But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried [i.e., not marry another], or else [repent and] be reconciled to her husband.”
We believe that divorce was a divine concession because of sin. And we agree with Charles Swindoll: “No Christians should aggressively seek the dissolution of his or her marriage bond. Some of the very best things God teaches His children are learned while working through marital difficulties. Endless stories could be told of how God honored the perseverance of abused and ignored partners as they refused to give up.
But “where God permits divorce and remarriage, humbly let us accept it without fear or guilt. Let us not call ‘unclean’ what He now calls clean. But neither let us put words in His mouth and make Him say what He, in fact, has not said. No matter how miserable we may be. There is something much worse than living with a mate in disharmony. It’s living with God in disobedience.” (Charles R. Swindoll, Strike the Original Match [Portland, Oregon: Multnomah Press, 1980], pp. 147-149.)